No 'Muffin Top' Pumpkin Mini Muffins

The other day I said something I have never said and have mocked others for saying, “Do these jeans make me look fat?” I had put on a pair of skinny jeans straight from the dryer and they were feeling a little…snug. Now, before those of you who know me say “give me a break” I will acknowledge that I know I am not fat and, considering the amount of baking and taste testing I do, I know that I am lucky that I am not fat. And it really is luck. As I say to a friend who has struggled with her weight for a lifetime, “Yes, but you have fabulous hair!” Which is totally true; it’s straight, thick and impervious to any weather condition. In other words, we all have our crosses to bear and mine is my hair-I may be thin but if I added up all the time and money I have spent beating my tresses into straight, highlighted submission….well, who knows where I might have ended up in life.

Back to snug jeans. After asking the question the response to which is always debated on Tyra (“embrace your booty!”) or The Today Show panel of marriage counselors (“explain to your partner that his response did not make you feel good about you.”) my friend said, “you could never look fat.” Right answer but had he really looked? I said, turning my posterior to him, “how about now?” There was a long pause. “Why aren’t you saying anything? You think I look fat!” And he quickly rushed to say, “no, no. Not fat. Just a little, well, you look a little boxy.”

“Boxy?! Like the kind of box that comes from Zappos?
Or the kind that comes from Tiffany?”“No, no! A small box! A very little box! I think it’s the pockets, they’re just in a funny place that makes you look boxy when you aren’t boxy at all.” Quick thinking pal but I was not convinced.

So, I had fat on the brain when I got ready to bake muffins for a neighbor who was returning from the hospital-I didn’t want the result to be muffin top for either of us. I adapted Ellie Krieger’s pretty healthy recipe, hoping the mini size would reinforce the mini-ness of me. You know, I think I’m feeling slightly less boxy already-or maybe my jeans have stretched.

No Muffin Top Low Fat Pumpkin Mini Muffins

Ingredients
Cooking spray
1 cup all-purpose flour
1 cup whole-grain pastry flour
¼ cup ground flax seeds
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
1/8 teaspoon ground nutmeg
3/4 cup packed dark brown sugar
3 tablespoons unsulphered molasses
1/4 cup canola oil
2 large eggs
1 cup canned pumpkin
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
3/4 cup lowfat buttermilk
1/4 cup raw, unsalted pumpkin seeds

Directions

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Coat a 24-cup mini muffin pan with cooking spray or line tin with paper liners. If you have two 24 cup mini muffin pans, great. If not you can just wait for the first batch to cool, spray pan again and reuse.

In a medium bowl, whisk together the all-purpose and whole-wheat flours, ground flax seeds, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, ginger, cloves, and nutmeg.

In a large bowl, whisk the sugar, molasses, oil and eggs until thoroughly combined. Whisk in the pumpkin and vanilla. Whisk in the flour mixture in 2 batches, alternating with the buttermilk. Do not over-mix.
Scoop batter (using mini ice cream scoop or tablespoons) into the prepared muffin pan. Batter should fill 2/3 of each muffin cup. Sprinkle with the pumpkin seeds. Bake for 12-15 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center of a muffin comes out clean.
Let pan cool on a wire rack for 15 minutes. Run a knife around the muffins to loosen them and unmold. Cool completely on the rack.
Yield-42 mini muffins

These are great warmed up a bit and served with apple butter. Oh, who are we kidding? Smear them with real butter!

Better Than Food Envy Brownies

One of my favorite things to do is eavesdrop. It’s terrible to admit but I've been known to shush my dining companion’s soliloquy just so I can listen in on the couple having a tiff next to us. I’m fascinated by how other people talk to each other and it’s always nice when the drama doesn’t involve me. Years ago, at a neighborhood Chinese restaurant, we were seated next to a 50 something couple and their 20 something son. As we took our seats I noticed the mother was looking down at her plate and shaking her head in that I-can’t- believe-he’s-saying-this kind of way. The father was looking imploringly at his son. The son stood up dramatically, still holding his napkin, and bellowed, “that’s it! I will never break bread with the Sterns again!” and with that he hurled his napkin onto the detritus of his moo shu pork and shrimp fried rice and stormed out. To this day I’m still dying to know what the Sterns did that was so bad.
Once, at a Mexican restaurant, the two women next to us were enjoying chips and salsa and chatting away. Again, I shot my dining companion a look and mouthed, “I’m working”-code for “shut up, this is good.” The two women were talking about how the husband of one had just written his will and how freaked out she was. Her friend comforted her, using her name which was quite unusual. My ears pricked even higher as there was only one woman I knew of with this unusual name and I was really hoping this was not she. Unusual Name responded with “[Name of Husband goes here] says it’s all because I’m pregnant. I’m just getting so emotional.” And she began to cry. I almost did a margarita spit-take when I realized she was the wife of a guy I had dated (if you consider dating months of so many ups and downs I should have gotten sea sick) that ended with him crying on a park bench when he broke it off with me. And now this winner of the jackass, arrogance, narcissism trifecta was going to be a father? That poor child. And why did his wife have to be so pretty?
In addition to listening in on other diners’ chit chat I also have food envy. It’s all I can do not to ask “is that good?” to a stranger eating her crab cake. And don’t think I haven’t been tempted to grab an abandoned French fry or the last bite of cake once my neighbors have left. I still haven’t stooped that low but I’m sure some day I will.

The other night I was out to dinner with friends who passed on having dessert. I went along with it knowing I had cookies at home but on my way out I saw a woman plunging her fork into the brownie sundae she was sharing with her man. Suddenly my awaiting cookies seemed like poor substitutes. So…time to make my favorite brownies!

These are the best brownies ever if you like your brownies fudge-y and rich. (Cakey brownie lovers? Move it along-there's nothing to see here.) As far as I'm concerned, there is no need to search for any other recipe. Believe me, I’ve tried them all. Now, again, when you see ‘coffee’ on the list of ingredients don’t start with “oh, but I hate coffee.” Or “it will keep me up.” 1) The brownies don’t actually taste like coffee, just deep and dark chocolatey 2) Buy decaf espresso powder if you’re worried. You’ll be fine. Also, nuts? Are you nuts? They just get in the way so forgo them.

I make half of the original Barefoot Contessa recipe, see below, so I can actually fit the pan in the oven and fit into my clothes. I also cut them into one inch squares so I can have more than one!

Notes: When melting the chocolate I put the bowl in the microwave and nuke it for one minute intervals-stirring after each minute. Usually can be stirred smooth after 3 nukes. Also, to reduce clean up I use one small Ziploc baggie to mix my flour, baking powder and salt and another for the 6 oz of chips and 2 Tablespoon of flour mixture. Please don’t give me a hard time about my plastic consumption-my dishwasher is tiny.

Better Than Food Envy Brownies
adapted from The Barefoot Contessa Cookbook
link to printer friendly version

Ingredients

2 sticks unsalted butter
8oz (or 1 ¼ cups) plus 6oz (or 1 cup) Ghiradelli 60% Cacao chocolate chips, divided
3 ounces unsweetened chocolate (I use Baker’s Unsweetened Chocolate Squares)
3 extra-large eggs
4 1/2 teaspoons instant coffee powder
1 Tablespoon real vanilla extract
1 cup + 2 Tablespoons sugar
1/2 cup 2 Tablespoons flour, divided
1 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt

Directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease and flour a 13 by 9 inch pan.

Melt together the butter, 8 oz (1 ¼ cups) chocolate chips, and unsweetened chocolate (3 squares) on top of a double boiler or use microwave method above. Cool slightly. Stir together the eggs, instant coffee, vanilla and sugar. Stir in the warm chocolate mixture and cool to room temperature.
Stir together the flour, baking powder and salt. Add to cooled chocolate mixture. Toss the remaining 6 oz (1 cup) chocolate chips with 2 Tbs flour to coat. Stir into the chocolate batter and mix till fully incorporated. Pour into prepared pan.
Bake for 25-30 minutes, or until tester just comes out clean. Do not over-bake! Cool thoroughly, refrigerate and cut into squares-the size is up to you.
My Most Recent Chocolate Chip Cookies and Better Than Food Envy Brownies-two choices are better than one!

What About Me Toffee Pecan Chocolate Holiday Tart

I can’t believe it is November. I am in a panic-a pie panic. I received a call from my brother-in-law, (aka Dr. Andrew Weil’s First Disciple) that I wasn’t entirely surprised to receive. It was the “no more corn syrup” call. (However, he did ask me to up the bourbon quotient in any pie of my choosing-hmm, is he numbing the pain of spending Thanksgiving with his wife’s family?)
Eleven months out of the year this kind of directive wouldn’t affect me. But with the holidays around the corner he was really cramping my style. Pecan pie is my favorite thing and last year I found and made the perfect recipe which, of course, requires corn syrup. If we were a large family you might say, just make a pecan pie and then a corn syrup-free something else. But, we are a small family. This year we only have four adult pie eaters and two mini ones. I always make an apple pie, which I have no interest in, because it’s Thanksgiving and because if I didn’t my father would kill me. It’s his favorite and he actually hates Thanksgiving for some reason so the pie is one way to make the dinner appealing. The other pie has always been pecan and, in recent years, a chocolate pecan because my sister won’t open her mouth for any dessert that does not involve chocolate and frankly, she could stand to put on a few. My mother is the easiest to please-she doesn’t eat dessert at all. Meaning, she doesn’t want a piece of pie on a plate, she’d rather pick at the leftovers while we do the dishes. So, now here I am wondering what to do.

At first I thought, why not just make a pecan pie without corn syrup? So, I baked a tester with a British import which seemed ironic considering the exporters don’t exactly celebrate Thanksgiving. Lyle’s Golden Syrup is liquid cane sugar and I found it in the fancy food aisle in the market. It has a more distinct taste than corn syrup and the pie I made just didn’t taste right. Not bad, but just not what I wanted.
Then my sister called. Although her kids have been cleared for nut take off she thought they’d be happier with something less gooey and more cookie-ish. And don’t forget the chocolate. And don’t even think about the bourbon. Ok. This was a fun project until people started weighing in with their demands assuming that I wasn’t already letting their needs guide my experiments. And what, by the way, will she be contributing to the meal since her husband and kids are vegetarian? And where was everyone last year when I nearly sliced off my finger with a mandolin while making a fennel salad? “Oh, it looks fine, just put on a Band-aid!” my father said as my hand throbbed all through the night and by the time I went to the CVS Minute Clinic they said I should have gone to the ER but it was too late for stitches. At least the salad was good.
I got over my irritation as soon as my 22 month old niece took the phone and said “Mimi comin’ house?” meaning “when are you coming to see me?” and that was all I needed to hear. Operation Pie was back on.

My goal was to bring together the toffee notes, good chocolate and a little bit of the structure of the chocolate chip cookie with the toasted nuttiness, slight gooeyness of a pecan pie. I also added some instant coffee just to give my trying-to-be-all-things-to-all-people-pie another dimension, and as a way to ward off the cloying sweetness both of these pies can fall victim to. If you're worried about the kids, don't be-the tart does not have a pronounced coffee taste. But if you're still worried, reduce the amount to one teaspoon.
After four experimental pies (too sweet, too dry, too gritty, too pasty) I think the fifth one is "just right." Unfortunately, if I have to so much as look at another pecan or a chocolate chip I will lose it completely. Luckily, I have 3 weeks to get my appetite back. Now let’s hope the family is satisfied. (I know I am!)

*Note-I’m as scared of making pie and tart crusts as much as the next person. But this crust is really so easy and doesn’t require a rolling pin! But, if you’re still scared you could make this as a pie and use a pre-made crust. Just read the ingredients and be sure it is all natural. I think I’d still par-bake it as I do below, just to make sure the bottom isn’t soggy.

What About Me Toffee Pecan Chocolate Thanksgiving Tart
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Ingredients-Crust
1 1/4 cups all purpose flour (spooned and leveled)
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/3 cup sugar
8 Tablespoons butter-cut into small size pieces

Directions
Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

Place flour, sugar, salt and butter in bowl of food processor. Process until large moist pieces form-when you grab a handful it should hold together.

Spill out contents of processor into tart pan.
With floured fingers press dough evenly along bottom of pan and up the sides. This takes a little time and patience. Hang in there and it will be fine.
Freeze dough filled pan for 15 minutes.

Remove pan from freezer, prick the bottom of the crust with a fork repeatedly.

Bake for 20-25 minutes until golden.
Cool on a rack completely.
(adapted from Everyday Food July/August 2005)

Ingredients-Pie Filling
1 ½ sticks of unsalted butter
5 Tablespoons sugar
7 Tablespoons dark brown sugar
2 eggs
2 teaspoons instant coffee or espresso powder
½ cup all purpose flour
½ teaspoon salt
½ cup Ghiradelli 60% Cacao Chocolate Chips
1 cup pecan halves

Directions
Preheat oven to 325 degrees

Heat pecans in toaster oven or in a skillet over medium heat until fragrant. Keep an eye on them-you do not want to waste them so don’t let them burn! Set aside and let cool.

Place both sugars in large heatproof mixing bowl. Set aside.

Heat butter in medium skillet and melt over medium-high heat until the melted butter turns dark golden and smells nutty, 2-5 minutes.

Carefully pour hot butter over sugars and whisk thoroughly to combine. Allow to cool 2 minutes.

Add eggs and coffee powder to sugar/butter mixture and whisk thoroughly until fully incorporated.

Add flour and salt to sugar/butter/eggs and coffee mixture and whisk gently first to combine and then vigorously until flour is completely mixed in. Batter will look like caramel.

Stir in pecans and chocolate chips with wooden spoon or spatula.
Spoon batter into cooled tart pan and smooth.
Place a piece of foil on oven rack just in case there is some overflow.
Bake 55 minutes-1 hour. Top of tart may sport little cracks.

Cool.

This tart is easier to cut if it has cooled completely.

Yield-One 9” pie or tart.

Depending on the pigginess of your crew 6 (big hog)-10 (a tiny piglet) slices. Feel free to go whole hog and top with vanilla ice cream or whipped cream.